The question I often ask my self "Where the Hell did Becky go?"

Today as I pre pair to head back to Yale AGAIN to meet with the doctors I think of what a Big appointment this is.  Today we find out the stage of the cancer what type of chemo Ill be receiving learn about radiation and how my life is TOTALLY going to change.  All I know is that I once.... and still am  a VERY VERY strong women I just have NO control over this and that  sucks .  For those of you who know me well from my Past and present know that I love.......... to be in control and I HATE not knowing what will happen next.  Today at this moment I have zero control and that scares the shit out of me. 
    I know that I will be smiling and laughing and enjoying my children's jokes and look forward to being able to help them play ball  and all thoae fun things that require movement lol!  I will post later on how it goes but for now IM GOING  to get dressed and pop a xanax haha!!!!!!

Tomorrow big day at the plastic Doctors!!!!

My Daddy and I He's my protector thats for sure!!!! Love you dad!

YAY I made it to the all star game!!!!

Time for the championship tomorrow!!!! Im so glade I made it there.  I hate missing any of there games thank goodness for great meds!!!!

Trev won

Ty won too! but I only made 2 innings before bed time it was.

Thank you DRUGS!!!!!

Morning of Surgery picture!!!!

Friday June 24th

 (Isabella's 7th Bday)

615am Smilow Cancer Center waiting in the pre op room!!!!

Off I go!!!!

                                              Mom and Matt waiting waiting and waiting!

The view from my room!

Thank you Dr. Chagpar!

This is a picture of Matt and I with my Breast Cancer Doctor.  She is so wonderful I am so thankful for her!!!!

DR CHAGPAR

Becky~ I hour of shopping felt like 20 ahhhh I want Becky back!!!!

    Whatt a hot humid day!  Today I spent about an hour looking for an anti gravity chair so that I can go sit at my nephews all-stars game tomorrow night.  I cant stand not watching them play!  I love watching  watching Ty and Trev play ball.  off to the mall we went and found a chair and bought a few sun dresses....came home and crashed for 3 hours. 
    What a life changing experience this!  I cant even pick up a crumb off the floor or for any of you who know my sweet puppy Zoe the hangers that she loves to break into a million pieces.  i look forward to living  my life as i remember it pain free. I know it'll get there but at its own pace:(   Im still trying to smile lots because why not:))))))))  

My Waterford Chicks at the burning of the bra:) what a great night. I really have best friends every wherer I turn! I cant wait till I am able to give back