Becky's in Maine on Biscay Lake

From Mom:
       So you all may have been wondering "Where is Becky?".   She and her family are spending 10 days on the Lake in Bristol, Maine.  Amy and I were able to spend a wonderful 4 days with Becky, Matt and kids visiting with the Fraser Clan.  What a relaxing place!  Matt's parents have a small 2 bedroom cottage right on the lake and we enjoyed many sunrises and sunsets with loons calling, ducks looking for food and hummingbirds yelling at us for hanging around their feeding area.  The flowers are in bloom and the sun did shine often.  The children have been on the lake everyday rain or shine.  Either using the jet ski or tubing.
        Becky is feeling well these days.  She is starting to loose her beautiful hair- she needs to stop sending me text photos of the daily cluster on the shower floor- it is very sad.  After all she has been through these past few months- this hair loss is hitting us all the hardest- go figure!!!  I guess it's because even though her body has been redesigned and she is being injected with an "army" to kill any hiding cancer cells- she has managed to look the same.  I know even without her long brown thick locks she will still be beautiful.  I know this appearance change will signal another step in the Victory Walk my daughter is traveling.  She does look great in the scarfs- she is not so sure about a wig but time will tell.
          Her next chemo cycle (#2) starts Tuesday 8/16 and so we continue with this journey with our heads held high.  Throughout this season our Lord has been the most gracious and comforting.  Becky has rested in His arms every moment and knows His love and protection.  Thank you all for your continuing prayers.

The New Hair!

I have been dreading this day since I heard the word CANCER!  I know its only hair but man it was a tough moment when I heard those scissors cutting the braid my eyes instantly filled up and the tears began.  Dana gave me a great cut and color I love it!  I am donating my hair so that another women or child will be able to enjoy it.  Thank you again Dana for making this step easier for me and making me look just like you lol you have waited your entire life to cut my longgggg hair.

A week full of new feelings and lots of great memories:)

         One week ago I we headed up to Yale to start the dreaded chemo.  I had no idea what to expect all I know was that I was told that with each season I would get progressively sicker.  24 hours after chemo my mother gave me my first neulasta shot~then the sickness began slight nausea enough to make me aggravated but I was able to handle it.  My moto was if I keep a positive then It'll all go away!!! Well nope that didn't happen I seemed to get worse with the passing days. Every food I ate I hated every drink I drank made me sick ugh!
    We enjoyed a family week at Misquamicut.  What a great week lots of fun for the teens it was all about the new generation and man I so remember being that age lol!!  11 teens oh boy is all I could say and thank you mom for being able to stay awake to monitor them lol.  I couldnt keep my eyes open past 930pm and they were in no way ready for bed at that time so grandma did the night watch keeping an open ear at all times.

Then it was time for Laura Westners wedding a day that I had been waiting for since we were young.  I could barely peal myself out of bed....but I did it and enjoyed my time.  Hated that I couldn't dance:( My body is just not ready for that yet/ I was just really thankful that I was there for her big day and able to smile my way through.

        Finally today I called Yale and told them that the nausea meds they had given me were not working and I NEEDED HELP!!!!!!  They called in a script and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was able to enjoy my first day in a week nausea free.  I was on my way to being very dehydrated so I had to suck it up and drink drink drink all day...
       Tomorrow I do my first lab drawing I'm going to the local quest so that I don't have to drive all the way to Yale just to have blood taken.  Lets just hope my veins work for the blood draw.  It usually takes 3 sticks before they get anything.  If I choose to go to Yale they could do it through my port!  Wednesday is the big Hair cut day ughhhhhh now this will be a tough one!  Im heading to Rob Rivers to donate my hair:( Im scared Only because I know its not long after that that I will have NO hair just writing that makes me anxious and sad. I know thats going to be tough for me and an adjustment for everyone.  I know that If I saw a young mom with her kids and NO hair my heart would break for her and I cant believe that Im the one thats going to get those looks.  I know thats going to be a big adjustment for me! Then Thursday..........I find out if I need radiation after the chemo is done.  I am praying hard that they have decided that the chemo would be enough.  But, I will do whatever they want me to do and whatever is best for my life the healthy life that Ill be living as soon as this is over.

The rest of the week I get to be a proud Aunty to my nephew Trevor as he battles his way through regionals.  They have already one the title for the best 9-10 year olds in the entire state of CT  so proud of them they have worked really hard to get to this point now I look forward to seeing them win the next title:)

       

today went fine

as i sat in the infusion room it was sad to me to look at how sick everyone looked. all i could think abouty is that i am going to try my hardest to not get that look like life is ending because i know th is is just the start for me.  this will make me stronger. i spent today smiling and thankful  for all that i have.  i know that somedays i may not feel this strength but today im happy to not feel like i thought i would. thank you all for your prayers.  becky

Today is the DAY by Mom

      So I wake up at 4:30am thinking and praying about this glorious week.  We are having a wonderful week- this is our family Beach Week in Misquamicut, RI.  All our children are down at the beach house we rent with aunties, uncles and cousins.  This is definitely the year of the teens!  There are 9 teens and almost teens-and 7 more little people , what a wonderful sound of laughter and shrieks of joy as waves crash around them.  Becky will post photos she has taken.  Another exciting event was watching our grandson Trevor and his baseball team -Waterford south- win the State Championship in Willimantic, Ct on Sunday.  It was a great birthday gift for Phil- who turned 63 that day-shhhhhh!  Waterford South- now Ct Champions 9-10 year olds- will be heading to Cranston RI next Sunday to play against Maine for the New England Title.

BUT today Becky starts chemo!   She's ready....we are ready ..... but are we really ready???   I do this for a living.  I treat men and women 3 days a week in Florida for various cancers and yet I am nervous- go figure.  Sometimes I feel like we are hiking, marching, struggling up a mountain then just as quickly the path levels out but soon is slopping down and we can't stop the downward slide.  So here I sit waiting for everyone to wake up- thinking STOP....forget this.... let's just go to the beach!!!!!   BUT later this afternoon the drugs that will kill any cancer cells that maybe still hiding in my daughter's body will be doing the job.   I am so thankful for the science and research that has gone before us.

2 days away from first chemo treatment

As chemo is 2 days away I find myself very anxious.  I dont want all those drugs in my body!!!!!!  I Dont want cancer.......  and I really don't want to loose my HAIR!!!!!!!!!!  so many things that I have no control over and I hate not being in control.   But what I am blessed to have is my family and friends that have stood by my side for these past 2 months and cried and laughed with me:) 
Matt and I went to the CVS last night to pick up my scripts for all the meds I get to take at home WOW!!!! I start taking all the pre meds today and then Tuesday morning we head up to Yale for my first treatment.  I know that Im going to beat this but shit it is scary. I find myself randomly crying often lately I have finally reach the poi:nt of scared!! When I first heard the words "Becky you have cancer" I had no emotion my family and friends all cried and I just comforted them knowing that my time was coming and I have to say here it is I am scared to death.  I cant sleep hardly eat and am always nauseous.  I have to busy of a summer for this I keep telling myself I need to just keep chugging forward.  Maybe it wont be as bad as Im expecting.  My next step is going to the radiologist and finding out if I will need radiation.  This is something I have been putting off.  In my mind I just want the chemo and then I want to be done.  But...... once again I am not in control ugh!  Thank you for all the prayers Love Becky

Off to Yale but first a stop for dinner with Matt and Marisa!!!!

I am off to Yale in the AM to have my port put in.  So prayers are welcome. I expect it to be a quick surgery about 1-2 hours in the OR and then of course recovery. I hope to make it home and feel well enough to go to Tylers bball game at 5pm!  A little crazy I know but I have to keep moving to get through this:))))  Chemo starts next Tuesday one week from today. 

We had a great night With Matt and Marisa dinner and the cousins got to have a great night of playing!  Thank you Matt and Marisa for dinner and watching the kids while we went to the plastic surg.  The kids talked the entire way home about getting together again soon.  We will see you in a few weeks for a pool date:)))))  Ill update on how the surgery went tomorrow.  Have a great night! 

Alex Lucas and Blake                                                      Blake Lucas Izzi and jordan

Lucas giving his big cousin the elbow!